in my near decade of babysitting in both cali & NYC,
getting paid has always been the most awkward moment of the night. parents slip
you a wad of cash without making eye contact and then you thank them and run. (the
run is mostly because I want to be far out of sight by the time they notice the
dent i made in their supply of snacks.) but they’re just as bad.
what..?
did i just sell you some drugs or something?!
we’re in YOUR living room. it’s fine. this is obviously why i
am here. i’m not babysitting out of the joy of your child. i’m here for this
exact moment. i’m a young, good looking (i mean, sorta, till I gained 10lbs
eating an undetectable but significant amount of goldfish crackers and m&ms
that you actually use to reward your kid for using the potty) but the point is,
I SHOULD be out on a Saturday night being all single and drunk and stuff, not
watching the food network and sneaking a single gram cracker from an already
open box because i don’t want you to notice.
really. the snacking i do is significant. don’t think i
haven’t perfected my photographic memory to exactly remember how your cupboards
are packed so i can dip into the good stuff and stack it right back...it's called babysitting.
but lets get back to this money thing. chasing your kid
around with a diaper then magically securing it to their teeny little butt while
they’re doing olympic level gymnastic moves may be all runofthemill for you, but it ain’t for me, so where’s my money? maybe
you’re embarrassed because you somehow know that even though i charge you cab
fare, i sill take the subway? or maybe you feel weird when you realize i’m
almost as, if not more, educated than you but still babysitting? OR maybe you
just noticed that the diameter of the hole in my left sock is equal to the diameter
of the diamond ring on your finger? whatevs, so:
PARENTS, PAY YOUR SITTERS WITH SOME DIGNITY. or i mean, just
try to tone down the awkwardness, like one degree.
well I mean lets be real.. even if you knocked it UP a
notch, i’d still come watch your kid and eat your snacks.
